The Loneliest Generation Turns to AI for Intimacy

One in five high schoolers has begun using AI for emotional and romantic engagement.

Few students are dating, forming relationships, or even socializing in person these days. Rates of sexual activity have declined, and surveys consistently point to rising loneliness among young adults. Much ink has been spilled on that trend, but a newer—and more dystopian—development is emerging: artificial intelligence (AI) companions promising to fill the void left by the collapse of real-world relationships.

Apart from using AI to cheat, one in five high schoolers has begun using these tools for emotional and even romantic engagement. In fact, one analysis of more than a million ChatGPT interaction logs found that sexual role-playing ranked among the system’s most common uses, second only to creative writing—the very task large language models were originally designed to perform.

OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, has faced lawsuits over the risks associated with its algorithms. Beginning in 2023 and continuing through 2025, a series of lawsuits alleged harms ranging from defamation to negligence and emotional distress tied to AI-generated content. In response to growing public and regulatory pressure, OpenAI introduced stricter safeguards across 2024-2025, including limits on sexually explicit content, tighter moderation of romantic role-play—especially for minors—and expanded parental control. Restrictions on mainstream platforms such as ChatGPT, however, are largely ineffective, as alternative platforms designed specifically for intimate interaction continue to proliferate.

Apps such as Replika (launched in 2017, with adult features expanded in the early 2020s), Eva AI (early 2020s), Nomi AI (2023), and MyAnima (rebranded and expanded in the 2020s) have positioned themselves as customizable AI companions, offering users a form of intimacy largely unconstrained by the safeguards imposed on mainstream systems.

To be sure, AI did not create the demand for digital companionship—the ability to build intimacy and connect with others is something many young people were already struggling with long before these apps existed. But these platforms are not filling a need so much as exploiting a wound. 

Rather than helping young people develop social skills so they might connect with others, these apps let users bypass the difficult parts of human connection. Virtual partners are always present, attentive, and endlessly adjustable—customizable in appearance and personality, and available in unlimited numbers without responsibility or commitment—eliminating rejection, conflict, and even awkward silence, and offering the illusion of frictionless intimacy designed entirely around the user.

And the appetite for exactly that kind of effortless connection turns out to be enormous. Nearly half of surveyed teenagers say conversations with AI systems are more satisfying than those with real people, often because they perceive AI as nonjudgmental. More broadly, over 40 percent of users report that AI systems are better listeners and even more understanding than other people. Preference for AI companions is especially pronounced among young men, who are more likely than women to use AI systems for sexual arousal.

If it’s not obvious, this is bad news. 

Normalizing AI companionship as a substitute for human relationships risks a slow erosion of the social fabric itself. Relationships are the foundation of families, communities, and civic life—and when those bonds weaken, the consequences are tangible for both the individual and society. 

Every hour spent in frictionless AI companionship, for instance, is an hour not spent building the skills real relationships demand. Over time, this tradeoff compounds, working against the very grain of human development. Scaled across a generation, the consequences may ultimately show up on an economic level (i.e., a society producing less and reproducing less).

Individual agency remains central in shaping how AI affects relationships, and that begins with clarity about what these systems actually are. A relationship in which one party is infinitely adjustable is not a relationship. It is a product. But for many young users—socialized in an environment of low-effort, phatic communication, ephemeral exchanges, and swipe-based dating apps—AI companionship is appealing precisely because it allows them to fully curate their interactions, excluding disagreement, avoiding conflict, and sidestepping the reciprocal demands of real relationships.

The question for our time is whether we want to preserve human relationships. Doing so requires both individual and societal responsibility. At the individual level, the principle is simple: tools should serve their purpose. AI was built to enhance productivity, not to replace human intimacy. At the societal level, the responsibility falls in part on institutions. Universities and educational environments are uniquely positioned to counteract this trend. They bring together large numbers of young people with shared interests and life stages—conditions that are increasingly rare beyond such intentional settings, yet often underutilized as sites of social formation.

Reversing this trend requires expanding opportunities for in-person interaction beyond the classroom. Sports, arts, and informal gatherings that foster repeated, low-stakes contact create the conditions for connection. These environments allow social skills and relationships to develop through shared experiences, even when interactions feel uncomfortable.

Before the pandemic, such forms of social life were more embedded in student life. Recreating these conditions is necessary. Young people cannot outsource intimacy. Love without risk loses its substance—and the willingness to embrace that risk defines what it means to remain human.

Follow Jared Gould and Lilla Nóra Kiss on X.

  1. U could never be that stupid to think people don’t know what is going on around them never do an under grad needs a degree in a subject that is based off lies. I could never be the type to be ok with being a liar and being deceitful especially when it’s hurts the lives of this younger generation who didn’t ask to be here.

    You could never think you would get away with the scandal you think you’re playing out. The only thing that matters is all the evidence that’s posted daily. This is bigger than AI. AI in the wrong hands is deadly and bad for the world.

    With the help of a very reliable source and team the perfect solution is to come just waiting on the right time to bring it out. The difference between good and bad is bad never wins or come out on top. So please by all means take out your trash before piling more in.

    The medium target never has the higher ground it’s always better to be observant than what you think is smart. Once you fall in it’s hard to see but when you allow yourself to see truth regardless of the love you have for things you’ll understand better.

    It’s a lot of poverty because of the lack of so called dads. Mothers left to figure it out because of who the already are from little girls. How can you allow poverty on children when you have a say? (and children) How can one be in agreement with one sided statements? How do you hold yourself accountable when your own children have to deal with poverty because of your decisions and destruction?

    Finally I will never look at AI the same, once you turn deafly and want your own selfish control I don’t comply. Never would I submit to AI when lies of deception and betrayal were taken against the livelihood of our children. ( mine) AI best defense is to leave well enough alone before all the systems crash and the world be in great sadness. The War is Over and the Dance is about to start.

  2. I blame the feminist movement for much of this, and I don’t know how much of this was intentional, how much of it was accidental, and how much of it was incidental and more related to the hedonistic rebellion of what Bob Dole accurately described (in 1996) as the most spoiled brat generation this country has ever seen.

    Their parents had been born during the good times of the 1920s, but had childhoods shaped by the Depression, and then young adulthoods shaped by a terrible war — the Baby Boomers were given everything their parents had lacked in a suddenly prosperous society that largely revolved around their generation.

    The sexual revolution is complicated, and I argue that should be viewed in the context similar to that of the flappers of 45 years earlier, but with oral contraceptives and legalized abortion. And it would be interesting to see how things would’ve turned out if Richard Nixon had screwed up the economy in 1974 as badly as Hoover and Roosevelt had in the early 1930s, if the baby boomers had to survive a Depression…

    But what the feminist did was reject all concepts of nurturing. They reduced male female relationships, particularly the part that the woman contributed to the relationship, to nothing more than sex. This led to a “hook up” culture so depraved that in the ‘00s it was not uncommon for a woman to sleep with a guy she didn’t know and then hope to somehow build a relationship out of it the next morning.

    It didn’t work — FERPA precludes me mentioning specifics, but I highly recommend reading Mariam Grossman’s _ Unprotected_.

    All of the nurturing, all of the caring was gone. Gone was the shared joy with the boyfriend’s successes, and the quiet support in his failures. Told that the world revolved around them, young women were no longer willing to tolerate a boyfriend with different interests than they, let alone any difference in political opinion. The latter has been pointed out in the number of women who would never date “a Republican” and I like to remind people that both Susan Collins and Donald Trump are both Republicans, as are Ted Cruz and Mitt Romney, along with Charlie Baker, now of the NCAA.

    15 years ago I predicted that it would only be a matter of time before sex bots replaced girlfriends, that between virtual reality and advances made in robotics, it would only be a matter of time until we had sex bots that were able to do things that no biological woman ever could, thus making women irrelevant.

    And now I see that 20% of generation alpha has an AI relationship. I’m actually surprised it’s only 20%, or maybe it’s only 20% that it admits to it…

    I blame the feminist movement for this — in the blind urge to turn women into men, they wound up destroying the qualities that made women — women.

    My final thought is that I have always felt that Brave New World was more chilling than 1984 because Brave New World is a hedonistic, but truly empty world where relationships with other people are meaningless and a world without God or any Judeo/Christian values.

  3. Yadda, yadda…all true…but…

    We say, “Reversing this trend requires expanding opportunities for in-person interaction beyond the classroom. Sports, arts, and informal gatherings that foster repeated, low-stakes contact create the conditions for connection.” And who would disagree? But have these perpetually multitudinous opportunities somehow vanished? Do they not now exist as they’ve always existed?

    It seems to me, rather they have exponentially expanded. Do we not have Freshman Orientation anymore? No Mixers / Dances / Sock Hops (or whatever the current terminology would name dark rooms, loud music, and an atmosphere rich with pheromones) Are there no more intramural teams…coed and otherwise? No more clubs where like finds like? No more study groups? No more open gyms where pick-up games thrive and new games are learned? What about Folk Dancing Get Togethers? Always baffled the heck out of me that such a thing existed….but from I could see from the outside it not only existed, it thrived. Where have all these flowers gone?

    What about just walking back and forth to class? Has that been eliminated by Uber and the moving sidewalks of George Jetson?

    Does no one see anyone ‘standing there’…thinking, ‘her looks are way beyond compare’? Do hearts no longer go ‘Boom’ (when they cross that room)???

    The problem is not in the stars, dear Brutus, but in our selves….that we have forgotten how to be brave, how to be forthright, how to be true (to ourselves, and each other), how to step forward, how to risk, how to live.

    It doesn’t matter how many ‘expanded opportunities for interpersonal interaction’ our Resource Officers and Our Deans of Student Affairs, with their armies of advisers create. If 10,000 trees fall in a forest and no one is there to see them (let alone each other) — there is no sound.

    To win, you have to risk. To risk, you have to play And what is play? It is Life; it is, indeed, the Big Dance. And at that endless Dance, you have to be strong enough to put yourself out there (be it on the dance floor, on a sidewalk, in a library, or waiting in the Cafeteria for the dessert bar to open). You have to be strong enough to be vulnerable….strong enough and self-confident enough to handle losing without collapse. Life is hard; so what?

    Love & Romance is a full-contact sport. Egos and Feelings will undoubtedly be bruised; hearts will bleed; misunderstandings will abound…but in the end, my friends, those kisses are still kisses, those sighs still sighs. And if we are to be a part of that — for what else is there, really — we have to embrace it: “life in its jewel boxes….is endless as the sand, impossible to count, pure,… and among the blood-colored grapes time has made the petal…. hard and shiny, made the jellyfish full of light… and untied its knot, letting its musical threads fall… from a horn of plenty made of infinite mother-of-pearl.”

    Get your butt out there and dance!

    1. Colleges have eliminated freshman mixers and other heterosexually oriented, social events. A lot of this was incidental to the ban on beer, which backfired badly because drugs are far more easy to conceal, but the feminists eliminated all of the dating – oriented events 30 to 40 years ago because they somehow objectified women.

      1. I will say this: a lot of the student affairs people are lesbians, a lot more than is readily apparent because not all of them are out of the closet.

        A lot of them are living with each other — instead of living in the building they’re supposed to be in, they live in someone else’s building, which I have an issue with in terms of dereliction of duty.

        But they have no experience starting relationships with someone of the opposite sex, nor do the gay men, and how do you advise others on things that you simply don’t know how to do? In generations past, the student assistants were peer leaders that organized social events, but now with the alcohol crackdown and then related police state mentality of most universities, all the RAs do now is write up their peers.

        In fairness, the baby boomers grew up in families with three or more siblings, which usually meant that you had a sibling of the opposite sex and half the time that sibling was older than you. That was enough of a critical mass to advise young men and young women about dating, you can be damn sure they never asked their parents about it, and now they really don’t know how.

        You would be amazed at the number of college freshman with never shared a room with anyone before. The three bedroom homes still exist, but instead of the boys bedroom and the girls bedroom, it’s a bedroom for each child or if there’s only one the other bedroom becomes the home office. It’s not 1970 anymore….

        I really should write the book I keep threatening to write….

  4. Scary development. Thinking of predictions that AI will make jobs superfluous makes ut still more scary. Where are people going to learn socialising?

  5. The decline in intimacy predates AI. The decline in dating, romance, sex, marriage, and fertility rates predated AI. Clearly, AI romance is a consequence, not a cause. The empirical realities are that women prioritize their professional careers, working toward success, which delays romance and family. Women outnumber men in college 60:40. Worse, men notice that male leaders are accused every day of some sexual-related offense or “harassment”. Presidents Clinton, Trump, and Biden are deemed predators. Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Senator Al Franken were similarly wiped out. Louis C.K., Matt Lauer, Kevin Spacey, and now Cesar Chavez. Young men realize being accused of misconduct, online forever, is one mistake away. Indeed, just saying to a co-worker, “I have feelings for you” is deemed sexual harassment and you lose your job. AI intimacy is crazy. But at least it is available and safe.

    1. There are times I think we are on the cusp of another great awakening.

      Jefferson wrote about how the churches were “laying open“ in Virginia prior to the great awakening, that people had lost their religion.

      I’m not doing Jefferson justice here, I think it was in his diaries, but I read it 30 years ago and this is from memory. But it was a great awakening before the revolution that largely led to the revolution, it was partially caused by a Dypthera epidemic and I thought that Covid might cause another one.

  6. Otherwise great insightful article!

  7. A large factor is left out , God and his word. Twisted interpretations of that and going away from that are huge factors in the downfall of society. That’s a whole other subject that needs to be researched.

    1. I would go further and say the human soul is being left out as well.

      This is Futurerama, from the late ‘90s (note the reference to a VCR — video cassette recorder) and doesn’t anticipate the abilities of AI.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ2Br0Qn4yg

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