How to Avoid Contracting the Woke Mind Virus this Memorial Day

If you’re headed off to college this fall, beware: there’s a virus circulating on campuses nationwide. And no, I’m not talking about COVID-19 or flu, but about something much more virulent and destructive, a pathogen that attacks your brain rather than your lungs, leaving you unable to think clearly or behave rationally.

I’m talking about the mind virus known as wokeism.

What exactly is wokeism, you ask? Simply put, it is the repackaging of failed Marxist ideas, updated slightly for 21st-century Western society. It is the belief that all human interactions are based on power, and thus, everyone can be divided into two groups: oppressors and oppressed.

In other words, it is a thorough dumbing-down of complex interpersonal relationships combined with a kindergarten-level understanding of human nature.

Symptoms of this virus include hair dyed an unnatural color, pronouns in social media bios, mask-wearing outdoors, and protesting in support of terrorist butchers. Its primary long-term effect is to leave sufferers with a permanent and debilitating hatred of their parents, their country, their fellow citizens, and ultimately, themselves.

Clearly, this is some nasty stuff to be avoided at all costs.

So, how do you protect yourself once you arrive on campus? Here are a few helpful tips:

First, I have some summer homework for you. Consider it an inoculation of sorts. Obtain a copy of Prof. Stanley Ridgely’s book Brutal Minds and read it from cover to cover. It will help you avoid the woke mind virus by learning to identify its primary vectors: staff in student affairs.

These self-styled educators will be the first college employees you encounter when arriving on campus, responsible for helping you register for classes, settle into your dorm, and acclimate yourself to your new surroundings. Virtually all of them, as Prof. Ridgely demonstrates, have been thoroughly infected through their own educational experience and remain highly contagious.

They will attempt to spread the virus to you via seminars and activities in which they promote absurdities like transgenderism and white privilege. For example, they might distribute questionnaires asking deeply personal questions about your sexual preferences and so forth. Do not answer. Decline to provide them with any personal information.

Or they might want you to play the privilege game, in which everyone who grew up in an intact family, or whose parents went to college, or who has never been pulled over for speeding is asked to take a step forward. Do not comply. Tell them you don’t feel safe. That is language they understand and information that, according to their own belief system, they can’t ignore.

Another potential viral vector, obviously, is other students. Therefore, it’s vital to make the right friends—to associate primarily if not solely with those who are uninfected or who have developed immunity. To identify these stalwarts, start by looking for the absence of the symptoms mentioned above, in addition to excessive piercings and tattoos, outlandish fashion choices, and pride flags in dorm-room windows.

You can also seek out mentally healthy compatriots by joining student groups like Young Americans for Freedom, Turning Point USA, College Republicans, or an organization affiliated with your religious persuasion.

Finally, know that many—though not all—of your professors will be infected, too. There may not be much you can do about that beyond (a) seeking out, by word of mouth or using sites like Rate My Professors, instructors who seem less compromised and (b) majoring in a real subject—say, something in business or the hard sciences or engineering—where infection rates tend to be lower.

You will no doubt still have some professors whose brains have been nearly destroyed by the virus, but if you have developed some resistance to it through your other efforts, you stand a decent chance of fighting it off.

Good luck, and may God be with you.

Editor’s Note: I can’t think of a more fitting image to illustrate the “woke mind virus” than a guy sitting alone in his car, masked up, drinking coffee.

Photo by Lisa Fotios — Pexels